A Matter of Resilience - A Personal Story
Discovering the Resilience of Thistles
As a Celt, thistles remind me of my Scottish roots…
Here are some facts about thistles. Thistles can grow up to eight feet high and over four feet in width, always making their presence felt. The prickles that protect the plant also help it to be beautiful and vibrant. It has a very stubborn root system to keep it grounded ensuring that thistles will survive and grow regardless of its surroundings and external threats.
Resilience Within Us
Like the thistle, survival qualities exist within us too. I believe that this flowering plant can teach us what it means to be resilient and I believe that teachable moments can change us for the better.
I’m sharing a story that has never been told publicly. It’s the day I knew I had to write a postcard to my future self.
Facing Adversity in Prague
I was faced with a significant threat alone on the streets of Prague, one sunny morning in March 2022. As I enjoyed a morning run, whilst on holiday with my youngest daughter, a stranger tried to attack me. I escaped his efforts to harm me. He chased me through the streets of this unfamiliar city. Eventually, I came to a place where I was not alone and when I raised the alarm I was helped by strangers. This man continued to follow me for some time until I was able to get police assistance, who seemed disinterested in my distress and did not seem to offer me support or reassurance and told me to return to my hotel and enjoy my holiday.
I sat quietly in a cafe with a coffee in my hand. I realised that whilst I was now safe, I felt mentally, physically, and emotionally vulnerable.
Reflecting on Vulnerability
I tried to make sense of my experience. Why did it happen, why me? I judged myself for not being stronger, faster, braver. I felt weak for running, for feeling so shaken.
I wondered if it was safe to go out, whether to tell my daughter who was tucked in her bed, cosy and unaware. I knew that if I told her it would impact the duration of our holiday.
I wondered if my elder daughters were safe in the streets of their cities. I worried about my friends and family.
I wondered if I should stay home, and stay safe and I worried that this would change me forever. The holiday ended without further issue but I must confess to being on guard most of the time, and I was careful not to wear my red baseball cap and red trainers or anything that would make me stand out.
Embracing Resilience
That fateful day, the day of this event, I wrote a postcard from my future self. I imagined that this event had somehow changed me for the better. I told my present day self that I was grateful to have been reminded that hardiness is often uncovered when a threat presents itself.
I imagined a faster, stronger and more equipped version of myself who could outsmart an attacker and feel calm in a moment of vulnerability. I imagined that my experience could encourage my friends and family to take up self defence.
For days and weeks later, I wondered if I was safe in busy spaces. I imagined all sorts of scenarios where my safety might be compromised and I didn’t trust my ability to judge when I was safe or at risk.
Then, I remembered that our vulnerability and potential for resilience coexist and that this is amplified when our survival depends upon it. It was a re-learning, because I have learned this before in my lifetime.
Courage to rise stronger can only happen when vulnerability has existed in some way - when we have failed, fallen, or felt fear.
I decided that this event would not define me, stop me or have me living in fear but it did change me! It reminded me to be vigilant. It has changed me in small ways.
Mentally, I continue to very alert when in public. I don’t allow strangers being too close to me if they are in my peripheral vision, I monitor my environment more closely that I might have before. I like to know what is happening around me.
Growing Stronger
Like the thistle, I have evolved, grown qualities to protect me, and taken action to become stronger.
I can run faster than ever, I can self defend (I took up kick boxing) and I’ve taken this experience as a reminder that I am, and will always be, bigger and stronger than any adversity that I will face.
Life's Teachings
Yet I still allow myself to be distracted by sunshine, and beauty and I say yes to new things that bring uncertainty. The adversities that we face in life, are there to make us more.
Everyone we meet is our teacher and our student. Coaching military veterans taught me a mindset that was developed by marines to deal with physical, mental, or spiritual hardship; Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome” - I can - We all can.
Thistles can teach us what it means to be resilient and so can life. What reminds you of your ability to dig deep when life requires you to tap into your resilience?
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I want to finish with the words of my heroine Maya Angelou: “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
Let’s get busy packing our mental fitness kitbag for a strong and resilient 2024.
