The Perfect Storm
My Mental Fitness Story
My name is Polly Brennan. I'm a Glasgow girl through and through and I am proud of my Scottish roots. I'm a mum to 3 brilliant wise women who have taught me so much. I am a mental fitness coach and an occupational therapist. I founded Adventurous Coaching and I am the creator of the Mental Fitness Kitbag model.
I often think about our lives as a story with lots of different chapters and I believe that we all have stories worth telling. We all have at least one good story in us...that life changing character building story.
Which one would you tell? Are you committed to telling a great tale that casts you as the character that you most want to be?
Embracing Change: My Turning Point
After experiencing a life changing event a friend asked me... “What's your story now?” The reply I almost gave was nothing short of a victim story, a blame story and a ‘I’m not enough’ story. But here's the story that I chose instead…
‘I’m Polly Brennan, stubbornly and delusionally optimistic. I’m an ambassador for adventure and childishly excited about life. I’m free spirited, I love being mischievous and hanging about with people who are too! As I reach my late forties, I'm becoming more comfortable in my skin. One day my life will flash before my eyes, I love that it will have been worth watching.
At the end of 2018, life’s twists and turns took me quite by surprise. I found myself facing turbulent times. I was 6 months into a Sabbatical from the NHS. My plan was to go solo, leave the NHS behind, work for myself, and grow Adventurous Coaching, my business.
It felt like a massive financial gamble and I was in an uncomfortable space. I was growing my business without a clear plan, unsure about how to make enough money to pay my way.
I was part of a brilliant mastermind business group but I felt like the slow girl in the fast group of the running club, holding everyone back.
As someone with a strong value around financial independence, accepting help and having to rely on someone else to pay the lion's share of household bills was crippling me.
All of this had me questioning myself and feeling wobbly to my core. In hindsight, I must admit I felt at my most vulnerable ever!
One Saturday night in October 2018, quite unexpectedly life completely turned upside down. In the blink of an eye, my home, family, financial and my career circumstances all changed. It was that crucial moment that I now refer to as ‘The perfect storm that woke me up’.
As often happens, once one thing breaks in life, everything else seems to as well. The laptop died losing all my coaching tools and intellectual data, the car dashboard began flashing like a Christmas tree, my iPhone smashed and the boiler sprung a leak, leaving water pouring through the ceiling in the middle of the house sale.
Sometimes the universe likes to stack the challenges simply to remind us just how resilient we are.
Finding Clarity Amidst Chaos
By January 2019, I was the owner of a cosy new home with a simpler, less complicated and happier life. Back working for the NHS in a new and challenging role. Coaching and business development opportunities were finding me - a reminder from the universe to not give up.
I don't usually blow my own trumpet ..but I handled it like a boss!
Surrounded by love, support and friendship from an energetic clan of friends and family, everything that followed reminded me that sometimes in life you have to cut back dead wood to create space for new growth.
I learned that the eye of a storm is actually a rather peaceful place. Whilst chaos ensures around you, you can also feel calm, grounded and curious about what’s coming next. I learned how exciting and wonderful life can be when change is afoot and the future seems uncertain.
I was reminded of the strength of character that I possessed and the stragegies that I adopt to get thought the tough stuff. Earlier life experiences have built this capability within me.
Life’s twists and turns simply remind you of the resources that you already possess to stay strong and to thrive.
Strategies for Success
How I strengthened mental fitness in my life, gave me the clarity I needed to develop a coaching system that would support my clients to have this too.
I created ‘The Mental Fitness Kitbag™ model. This is a solution to the challenge of being human and it is a catalyst for change. It teaches strategies to strengthen mental fitness & nurture mental wealth. Let me tell you about how I packed my ‘Mental Fitness Kitbag’.
1.Telling my story
I'm always reminded that we can tell our stories in many different ways and from many different perspectives. We get to choose the title, we decide on the main characters (In your story that should be YOU by the way). We can tell versions of the story where lessons are learned, where we adapt, we become better. We can become the characters that we most admire and we can narrate the outcomes that we want, allowing the story that we most want to unfold in front of us.
When my life changed and everything turned upside down and inside out, I found myself at risk of telling an utterly rubbish and unhelpful story about myself. It was a ‘I’m not enough, I failed’ sort of victim tale. I tried that story on briefly but it was such a poor fit it was uncomfortable for me.
My advice - Review the story you tell yourself. Life's twists and turns give you the chance to create an empowering story. Choose the best version to take you forward. If the story that you tell yourself and the world is not helpful change the story or change the meaning.
2. Navigating my journey
Some people talk about life as a journey… So let’s go with that. Life's journey can be smooth, calm and pleasant. You are in the driver's seat, focused on your destination, hands firmly on the steering wheel, on cruise control with great tunes playing on your radio. You have blue skies, your shades on, and you feel great. Life can be like this.
In life and on journeys, quite without warning things can change!
A massive pothole can appear and put you at risk, you can take a wrong turn and find that you are lost or the sun can get in your eyes and this makes it impossible to see right in front of you, putting you in danger.
When I found myself in the middle of the storm, it was hard to see where I was going. Sometimes on journeys, people can change lanes unexpectedly and you have to swerve without warning to avoid danger.
This was my experience. Sometimes all that you can do is slide into the skid, let go of the delusion of control and simply avoid becoming a casualty as best you can. What matters most is that you don't end up in the hard shoulder or worse, in the path of oncoming traffic.
Initially, I felt disoriented on my journey. It was important to reset my compass, get my bearings choose the direction I wanted to take next. To do this I got out my binoculars, polished the lens and focused on as much detail as I could to work out what I wanted to see on my horizon. This helped me take a new direction on my own and to create the route map to make that possible.
As a girl who likes a plan, and likes to know what's happening next, trusting that things will work out can be a tricky thing to do. Instead of getting too fixed in the details, I did something counterintuitive for me, I learned to be focused on the results but flexible on the journey.
I decided to have blind faith, to trust the process and believe that things happen for a reason. Learning to let go of the things that you can’t completely control, allowing things to unfold organically has been the most helpful thing I have learned how to do.
I discovered that life's twists and turns bring creativity and can make our journeys more interesting in lots of ways.
My advice - Reset your compass. Right now is as good a time as any to review where you have been, what you have made possible so you can go forward with pace, purpose and a plan. Reflect on your progress and set some new commitments to work towards to make the best of the rest of the year ahead as you go forward.
3. Nurturing my Wellbeing
My perfect storm taught me the importance of looking after myself. In moments of adversity, simple self care has hugely boosted my capacity to cope. It might be tricky to grasp this but even as a coach ‘self care’ has always been a challenge of mine. Having knowledge doesn't always mean we can apply it to ourselves!
I discovered how to put into practice good habits of self care. Remembering to fuel up nutritionally, sleep well, and simple acts of kindness towards myself have always been at the bottom of my list.
I learned to nurture my zest. I discovered that having extroverted and opportunistic tendencies can compromise the ability to rest’ and be a human being not a human doing. 'Health is the new wealth’ became my new mantra! Corny but true!
Finally I realised that adventuring is essentially my ‘go to’ method of good self care. Making time for beachfires, biking, spending time under the stars, getting rosy cheeks and muddy feet is essentially my best strategy for self care.
My advice - Rest, recharge and reconnect. The psychological benefits of having regular time in the outdoors will boost your endorphins, top up your vitamin D and leave you feeling fabulous!
4. Managing my mindset
Mindset matters. Choosing a mindset to strengthen and uplift me was one of my most helpful workouts. It conditions you to be better, not bitter. I guess my circumstances gifted me the opportunity to adopt a growth mindset and to exercise my mental muscle to strengthen an optimistic view of circumstances.
I chose to view this chapter as ‘my perfect storm’ knowing that it was going to open new doors and create new possibilities. I chose to believe that my adversity would bring the opportunity for lessons to be learned and that ‘the pain of learning’ would nurture growth and strengthen my character. I’ve had to flex and strengthen positive thinking in order to make it my reality.
5. Building my resilience
When unexpected changes happen that you didn't plan, predict or expect; this creates quite a challenge for any of us. On a practical level my life turned life upside down for a short while. It was sink or swim, and yet I've always been able to keep my head above water!
My job was to create a whole new life for myself and my family. This required me to dig deep and put into practice everything that already knew about being resilient, and to continue to allow humour, adventure and possibility in my life. It's that reminder that we already have the resources within us to deal with all that we are faced with.
My advice - Remember that life doesn't get any easier, we just get stronger. Sometimes rock bottom isn't such a hard place. It can simply be a springboard to help you bounce upwards and forwards.Work out what it would mean to boost your bouncebackability.
6. Taking my actions
Even the most creative, resourceful and successful people can find themselves at a crossroads in life. This is where I found myself at the end of 2018. It makes you ask yourself ‘what do I really want? It was also an invitation to rediscover priorities, change gear, and make things happen.
My experience helped me to lose my fear factor and get in the fast lane because believe you me when the worst thing that could happen happens what have you got to lose? It was an opportunity to stop driving in the middle lane and shift gear!
Because behind your biggest fear is your biggest opportunity. Circumstances helped meto create a mental fitness coaching system and to share solutions and strategies as widely as possible.
My advice - Continue to find ways to stretch out of your comfort zone.Make space for something new, fun, exciting or different. This could mean new people, new experiences or new challenges. Take a leap into the unknown - Your fear will help you grow!
7. Celebrating my successes
In life it is possible for us all to make an impact and create the results that we want. What’s vital is that we recognise our successes (no matter how small) and congratulate ourselves.
Whilst it’s not terribly British to blow our own trumpet, for lots of reasons it's vital. It's easy to overlook the wins that we create and to focus on the next task without celebrating and reflecting on what has been helpful.
Societal messages tell us that being busy, multitasking and spinning tons of places is a measure of our success. This can make us a jack of all trades and the master of none! It can also restrict our ability to give our full attention to what we are doing well and we risk burn out.
Inventing a new life meant lots of big practical decisions like houses, cars, and jobs. My to do list increased every day. It also meant making small but significant shifts like thinking differently, letting go of negative emotions and having my head in a place of opportunity. The latter was my biggest success.
Fast forward 18 months later and I deliver mental fitness workshops. I also find myself being interviewed for podcasts, speaking at events and being interviewed on local radio on television. This gives me the opportunity to share inspirational stories that I’ve had a part to play in. Who knows where this will take me next!
My advice - Create the daily habit of reflecting on your biggest success each day. Recognise each breakthrough that you create and make time to celebrate your successes large and small.
8. Assembling my team
I'm really grateful for the connection that I have with my 3 brilliant daughters.They support and encourage me every day. I also have a clan of wonderful friends in my life who have been critical in my survival through all of my adversities.
When unexpected events happen, this is an opportunity to discover the people that you need to surround yourself with. I knew that I could rely on my wonderful friendship groups and I allowed other ‘can do’ people to be on my team. I briefed them well. I asked them to encourage me to get in the fast lane and to keep going with my hopes, my dreams and my goals, reminding me to be a fun loving thriver.
My advice - Choose your company wisely.Build your dream team and nurture these connections. Become clear about how your team can help you to go forward. Brief them well and at times of need, rally your team to strengthen your position.
9. Embrace your Adventures:
Above all else, my perfect storm reminded me to create a new adventure. Life's twists and turns can take you to new places and open up your mind to a world of new possibilities if you are able to be curious and take an adventurous approach.
My perfect storm also reminded that there’s no point in waiting for the weekend… for summer...for retirement to have more, to be more and to do more. My perfect storm helped me discover how to pack my own mental fitness kitbag with the tools to thrive and to live my life's adventure. My knowledge is my gift to you.
My perfect storm
So why am I calling this chapter of my life ‘The Perfect Storm?’ When you take a snow globe and you shake it up, at first you can't see anything, you lose clarity and vision at the centre of things. However when the dust settles, it becomes calmer, clearer and less complicated.
This is what happens in the perfect storm, you ride the storm and learn that at the eye of the storm all is calm. When it settles, everything becomes clearer. So sit with the perfect storm when it comes your way knowing that you will get through because your success so far at surviving difficult days is 100%
So here we are in 2020. It’s a year of milestones in my professional life. I celebrate 25 years as an experienced mental health clinician within the NHS and 5 successful years in business. My anniversary will be spent on the frontline in the midst of a pandemic. It feels like a different perfect storm has hit, much like life.
I have worked with inspiring clients from all over the world; Manhattan to India, New Zealand to China and the Middle East to Cape Verde. Scotland, England and Ireland.
Along the way there have been transformations, inspirational stories and solutions. It’s a privilege walking the journey with clients and patients side by side at their most vulnerable while they challenge themselves and change their lives.
I have created coaching adventures; from coaching by the campfire, bike adventures, retreats both home and in Foreign lands and created team building events in the wilderness. It has been a pleasure working with transitioning military veterans, young adults, forward thinking CEO’s, parents and professionals.
So why am I sharing this story?
Right here in my life I feel happier, clearer and stronger than I can remember. I haven't always felt this way. Other people's stories can bring us hope and courage and they remind us of valuable lessons that we already know.
My best hope is that by sharing this, you will be reminded that if you are facing adversity, your biggest challenge could also be your biggest opportunity. The big question, What's the opportunity for you?
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#100% Pure Polly – Living Life’s Adventure…
Tune in to learn more about how telling an empowering story can boost your mental fitness! Want to know more about how to live your life’s adventure?
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